Gaffe-fest 2012: The worst of the GOP primary candidates (VIDEO)

It's nearly impossible to remember a Republican primary race that contained a more motley crew of bumbling, inarticulate, cranial resource-depleted characters. One can't help but wonder whether this clownlike assemblage is really the very best the United States has to offer its Republican primary voters, or whether the poor, long-suffering GOP has been the victim of a vast, left-wing conspiracy to sabotage the entire nomination process.

In less surreal times, a candidate could perhaps be excused for the occasional brain disfunction because, at root, we would know he or she genuinely grasps the important issues confronting us and has profound, detailed, well-considered ideas about how to deal with them. In this case, not so much.

The gaffes gloriously trumpeted throughout the length of the never-ending GOP primary debacle are as much disasters of substance as of style. Most of the candidates seeking to lead American government display, paradoxically, profound contempt for American government, and by proxy contempt for the voters who have shaped and elected that same government and to whom they're pandering like crazy for a vote.

Their paper-thin campaign platforms nearly all rely on destroying institutions, rather than proposing constructive solutions, with no empirical evidence that the institutions they want to destroy, when they can even remember what they are, are in fact part of the problem. Ideology trumps objectivity at every turn.

American voters could clearly use a substantive discussion and a better batch of alternatives. But it's pretty clear we're not going to get one, so we may as well snort at the absurd gaggle of cartoon characters we're getting instead.

We've laboriously compiled some of the best gaffes from the GOP primary candidates to date, both stylistic and substantive, which we now present for your viewing pleasure or more likely pain. Rather than only including official candidates, we've also included one or two temporary non-candidates who nevertheless managed to lead the pack without ever declaring their candidacy.

The list is presented in the popular top-10 format coopted by Rick Perry during recent damage control on David Letterman. You may notice that part-time ex-governor of Alaska Sarah Palin is not on the list. This is because she is, and has always been, complete irrelevant to any political discussion and because her entire existence is a gaffe.

And so, without further ado, drum roll.