On Black Friday and Cyber Monday, beware, consumer, of Ye Olde Cyber-scams

The FBI has issued what we assume to be an annual warning to consumers to carefully fold away their wallets deep within the inner recesses of their costume whilst shopping online, thus foiling the ever-swelling droves of Internet pickpockets lurking in the shadowy alleyways of cyberspace.

According to the FBI, when online shopping surges so does the incidence of unsavory characters seeking to lure unsuspecting cyber-shoppers into revealing their credit card information, buy products that will never be delivered, or otherwise meet an unpleasant fate at the hands of Internet evildoers. Of particular danger are those rock-bottom priced one-day product promotions (Today Only! iPad 3 for $29.95! ONLY 27 LEFT!!!) that drop into your email inbox, which--and you'll be amazed to hear this--are often fraudulent.

The FBI suggests taking the following precautions to avoid the risk that you will present your deserving offspring with a barren Christmas tree, devoid of presents and decorated only with crumpled newspapers and fingernail clippings, a few weeks from now:

• Log on directly to the official website for the business identified in the e-mail, instead of “linking” to it from an unsolicited e-mail. If the e-mail appears to be from your bank, credit card issuer, or other company you deal with frequently, your statements or official correspondence from the business will provide the proper contact information.
• Use anti-virus and anti-spyware software and keep up with the security updates to prevent viruses and malicious programs from infecting your computer.
• Make purchases using websites with secure connections. Look for websites that use Secure Socket Layer (SSL) security which protects your personal information. Check the browser’s status bar for an unbroken “padlock” icon that indicates the sites’ using SSL.
• Use your credit card instead of debit card when making a purchase. Credit cards offer added protection from fraudulent transactions.
• Never use your Social Security Number to make online purchases.
• Use strong passwords. A strong password should include at least five letters and one number.

Also, the FBI offers consumers a site you can visit to help make your online shopping a safer, more pleasant, less fraud-riddled experience, the Internet Crime Complaint Center. Among the tips offered by the Internet Crime Complaint Center are warnings against classified ads and auction sales, gift card scams and email phishing scams, so certainly beware of those.

Penile enhancement products, and the potentially fraudulent nature thereof, are mysteriously not mentioned by the FBI, which we assume to be an oversight by the FBI due to holiday stress. Or else they've found the products deliver precisely as advertized.