The Treasury Department issued a bland press release on Wednesday announcing that two more banks have repurchased their TARP investments, or recalibrated their financial instruments, or some other such financial mumbo-jumbo, thus returning to taxpayers the money provided them during the recent bank meltdown.

The two banks, neither of which you've ever heard of, are Bank of Kentucky Financial Corporation and First Midwest Bancorp, Inc. But that's not important. What we find interesting is the rest of the statement, which states as follows:

The FBI has issued what we assume to be an annual warning to consumers to carefully fold away their wallets deep within the inner recesses of their costume whilst shopping online, thus foiling the ever-swelling droves of Internet pickpockets lurking in the shadowy alleyways of cyberspace.

Berkeley Lab has taken a long, hard look at California and come up with a simple, step-by-step recipe for reducing the state's emissions of carbon and other greenhouse gases to 80% below 1990 levels by 2050. The recipe is pretty simple, and relies on three primary components: energy efficiency; carbon-free electricity generation; and electrifying vehicles and processes that use oil, gasoline or natural gas.

Here are the three steps:

Step One: Energy efficiency

Some lawmakers in the US Senate, shortly before gorging themselves on taxpayer-funded federally unpardoned turkey and retiring into dimly lit sequestration for the remainder of the year to engage in various unspeakable biological activities, have thrown into the ring a bill and a letter air travellers may actually be happy about.

I think we can all agree this has gone just about far enough, can't we?

The country that prides itself on American exceptionalism (at least in the context of attack ads) is indeed exceptional in the colossal and acutely embarrassing failure of its democratic institutions. And exceptionalism, by the way, is barely even a real word, and it shouldn't be. It's stupid, xenophobic, counterproductive, largely incorrect, and vain.

The White House OMB (Office of Management and Budget, for those who'd rather spend time with friends and family than spelunk through the inner organs of the White House) is bragging this week about various billions of dollars in savings achieved through Obama-initiated efforts to cut government waste, particularly improper payments. Actually quite a large number of billions of taxpayer dollars.

(Sound of crickets chirping).

That's sound you didn't just hear was the right-wing political apparatus responding to this rather commendable effort. Not too surprising.

The Environment Protection Agency and the Department of Energy have just released their new, piping hot automotive fuel economy guide for consumers. The purpose of the guide is to help you find a car that won't force you to sell one of your children into indentured servitude every time you fill up your SUV.

Also, spewing a little less toxic smog into the air when you drive around is apparently good for various public health, geopolitical, economical and environmental reasons, but don't let that stop you. Even totally unenlightened self-interest should be enough to do the job in this case.

Has any taken a look at the Great Lakes lately? Lake Michigan, Lake Huron, Lake Ontario, Lake Something Else, etc. Are they still there? Phew.

It must be some other water entirely, then, that NASA scientists have just discovered lurking like a frightened lemur beneath the frozen surface of Europa, one of Jupiter's moons.

The House Financial Services Committee, apparently undisposed to taste the torches and pitchforks of an irate mob, voted yesterday to cancel the gigantic bonuses scheduled to be paid out to executives at Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac. They also voted to suspend any future bonuses.

The decision will revoke a planned $5.6 million bonus to Fannie Mae's CEO, and $5.4 million to the CEO of Freddie Mac.

Oops! That was a quick 15 minutes for the micro-resurgent Newt Gingrich. Articles far and wide across the Internet's tubes this morning are stating that Newt Gingrich was paid far more by Freddie Mac than the paltry $300,000 he was asked about during a recent debate. Rather, the crusty historian earned over $1.6 million from the troubled mortgage company.